Spring is here!

My crocuses have bloomed, so that must mean Spring is here, right?? The weather is getting warmer and I am starting to think about planting a garden. I even saw daffodils blooming this week. With Easter just a few weeks away, I am starting to feel some Spring fever setting in.

In an effort to get healthier I have started walking too. About 30 minutes a day. Today I only did 21 minutes, but I walked a mile in that time, so I am counting it good.

I am really tired though, so am not going to write much now. I'll try to get on tomorrow or the next day. Maybe I will try to post a picture of my crocuses.

All Better

Miles is finally better. He has today and tomorrow left of his antibiotics, and is acting, and eating normally now. He still has a bit of a cough, but I'm not too worried about that. He goes in for his 2 year old check up on Thursday, so will be checked then anyway. I am so glad that is over!

I am getting back into my routine and got the house cleaned up yesterday. It feels so good to have that done, it was really driving me crazy. I just need to get the laundry caught up now, but that shouldn't be too bad. I have a load in the washer, one in the dryer, and 2 or 3 more to go. I did one last night too.

Lynn worked a lot of overtime last week, so we are all pretty wiped out and missing him. He has 3 days off after today, and we are looking forward to a "normal" week-end. He will be working more overtime the next week too. Makes for some nice paychecks, but we all get pretty tired with him being gone.

We got our taxes done on Wednesday, and should be getting quite a bit of a refund. I did it on the computer for the first time, and efiled too. It was really easy, and quick. They said the federal refund should come the end of next week. Of course the state always takes longer.

Well, I'd better go get to the laundry, and get started for the day. We slept in this morning, so I'm off to a late start.

Adventures with a sick child.

The reason I haven't posted for a few days is because Miles is sick. Saturday he was fine except for the cough and congestion that he has had for the last few weeks. We did our usual Saturday shopping, and came home and rested. Sunday morning he woke us up at 6:00 with a fever of 102.3 I gave him Tylenol, and left him home with Lynn while Ellie and I went to church. Lynn called me as Sunday School was starting saying he was really droopy, felt hot, and refused to take the Tylenol that we had at the house. So, Ellie and I left church, went to Wal Mart to buy some that we could force down him easier, and came home. His temperature was 104. The Tylenol got it down to 102.5 or so, but then when it started to wear off, it went back up to 103 and wouldn't come down with another dose. After calling the pediatrician's office and talking to a triage nurse there, we decided to take him to Urgent Care.

That was not an experience I want to relive any time soon. We waited for an hour before we saw the triage nurse, who gave him some Ibuprofen, and then another hour and a half to see the doctor for no more than 5 minutes and have him tell me that it is probably viral, and to take him home and try to keep the fever down with Tylenol and Ibuprofen like I had been doing. I said something about being worried that it could be pneumonia because he has been coughing for 3 weeks. The doctor (who obviously hadn't been listening to me when I told him this the first time) right away said "Oh, let's get a chest x-ray, I thought he'd only been coughing for a week." We went to get the x-rays came back the doctor told me his films looked clear, but he would have the radiologist look at them, but it was probably viral, yada yada yada. We went home, me being very frustrated at spending 3 hours there only to be sent home and told it was viral.

We weren't home for 15 minutes, and the phone rings. It was the doctor calling to tell me the radiologist saw some pneumonia and he called in some antibiotics for us to start in the morning. Thank you LORD! I'm not losing my mind after all!!

So, since Lynn is working overtime today, I got to take the kids to Wal Mart to pick up Miles' antibiotics. They open at 9:00 so I figure if we get there at 9:45 it should be ready because they would have gotten it first thing this morning right? Well, we get there and I'm told that it isn't ready yet and will be another 15-20 minutes. Yeah! I get to walk around Wal Mart for 20 minutes with a sick child and a three year old! Just what I want to do with my day. At least the Ibuprofen I gave Miles at 2:00 this morning was still working because, he didn't get a fever until this afternoon. We finally got the antibiotics, and the doctor was merciful in giving me Zithromax which is only once a day. I was thinking I was going to be having to give it to him three times a day. He isn't very good about taking medicine.

Poor little guy doesn't feel good at all. All he wants to do is sit on my lap, which I love, but I do have other things that need to be done. Right now he is sleeping in his crib. His temp was 103 about an hour ago, but I gave him Tylenol, and hopefully it will come down. We'll do the Ibuprofen next time.

As I was sitting holding him last night and today, I couldn't help but wonder at the complete confidence he had that I was taking care of him. He completely trusted me and all he wanted was to be in my arms. Maybe that was what Jesus meant when he said that we need to become like little children.

Well, he is fussing again, so back I go to hold my boy. If you think about please pray that he feels better soon.

New Life

No, I'm not pregnant.

Yesterday afternooon was so nice the kids and I went outside for a few hours. I cleaned up the front yard and flower beds and was pleased to see new life growing in them. My spring bulbs are poking their heads out of the ground, and it looks like I'll be enjoying daffodils and tulips soon! Miles and Ellie had fun "digging holes" in my planter pots that have nothing in them but dirt.

Then, Ellie rode her tricycle and Miles and I walked to the corner and back. Then we had to come inside and get cleaned up for swimming lessons. The kids had fun using thier new towels.

Yesterday morning we had MOPS, and that was fun. We had lots of goodies and the speaker was on love languages. After thinking about it, I realized that Ellie is very much a gift giver. She loves to give, get, and see other people get presents. She wraps different toys and things up in her blankets and gives them to us as gifts. She is so pleased to do it too. It is really funny. I haven't yet figured out what Miles' love language is. He is a little harder to read at this age. It could be spending time. Every night, I ask the kids what was their favorite thing that day, and every night Miles says "play with Daddy."

Lynn came home last night with a pot of tulips, a stuffed puppy dog, and a sweet card for me, and he brought Ellie a card and both of the kids candy. Wednesday night the church had a comedy night that was fun. It was a great Valentines Day, even if I did almost burn dinner to a crisp.

I'm such a flake!

I am such a flake that I totally 100% forgot to go my GreifShare meeting last night. I remembered as I got into bed at 10:30 last night. ARGH!!!!!! I really wanted to go.

Yesterday was fun. We went out to lunch, then the kids and I spent about 2 1/2 hours at the mall while Lynn went into work for a while. The kids had fun playing on the toys in the play area there, and then we had a Cinnabon that got them all sticky and gooey. Then we went to the pet shop and looked at all the puppies, fish, birds, kitties, etc. Then they rode on the rides that used to cost a quarter, but now require three to ride. That took up half and hour ang $4.50. Then it was back to the toys until Lynn came and picked us up.

Then Ellie went to swimming lessons and Miles played in the kiddie pool. I got a bright idea there and took them home then went (by myself!) to Wal Mart and picked up a pattern & materials to make hooded towels for them to have at swimming lessons. Then when I got home, I made the frog one while I was making dinner, and the princess one after the kids went to bed. They are really easy and turned out pretty cute.

Going to the movies!

Yesterday we took the kids to their first movie in a movie theater. One of the theaters here is a "cheap theater" and on Mondays it is only 50 cents per person to get in. Of course they charge regular price on the concessions, so it can still get expensive. We went to see Veggie Tales the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. Ellie wanted to know why they had such a big TV. We bought popcorn and they kids enjoyed that too.

Miles did ok for the first part, but as soon as he got full of popcorn, he got restless, and loud. He doesn't really like the dark either, so that bothered him. Lynn took him out for a few minutes, came back to get the bag so we could refill the popcorn, and got us some soda. Then he comes back and sits down with Miles and pulls out a bag of M&M's. I'm thinking, "I can't believe he spent $2.00 on a bag of M&M's. Later I find out that he actually paid $3.50 for the bag of M&M's that would have cost 88 cents at Wal Mart! So our trip to the movies cost - $2.00 for admission and $14.50 for popcorn and candy!

Then we let the kids play on the toys at the mall, went to Wal Mart, then came home at had dinner, which Miles didn't eat because he was full of popcorn and M&M's! It was a good day.

Random Thoughts

At GreifShare last week they described greif as an unwanted houseguest, and it is, I think, a really apt description. Every time I think that things are getting better, the unwanted houseguest comes back, and I can't seem to get rid of it.

I've been thinking of Mom a lot lately, and grief and the weird things it does. Watching Miles grow and turn two is so amazing, he is so different from what Ellie was like at that age. She didn't push boundaries quite as hard as Miles does, and seemed to understand more too. Of course I had a six month old baby when she turned two, and was a bit more distracted too, so God knew what He was doing. :)

Nichole left a comment about how Mom didn't like the term "terrible twos", but instead called it the "terrific twos". She did love two year olds, and sometimes it hurts so much that she can't see Miles growing like he is. She would have enjoyed it so much.


I talked for a long time last night with a friend whose father died a couple of weeks ago. It is nice to be able to talk to someone who understands what I'm going through, and maybe help her a little along this journey too.

We are having friends over for Birthday Cake and ice cream this afternoon after church. It should be fun. I made Miles a cake and got those hard sugar type decorations shaped like construction vehicles - there are trucks, a cement truck and a back hoe - to put on it. It turned out cute, but very amateur, of course. He has already tried to taste it. I think if we gave him is own cake this year, we would have vastly different results than we did for his first birthday. He just poked at it then.

Miles is Two!!!!!!

I can't believe that Miles is actually two years old today. I remember seeing him in the NICU thinking he was so small. He is getting really big and really verbal too. He is also definitely acting like he is two! Yesterday he was in the car seat and kept repeating "no, mine!" to no one in particular, like he was practicing.

Today has been hard for me, but I am getting through. I feel Mom's absence more on the kids' birthdays. I know she is looking down from heaven enjoying him though.

Well I better go get the monsters in bed, we have a busy day tomorrow.

First Post, Intro

Ok, so I thought I would venture into the 21st Century and create a blog. Basically I need a place to vent and work through all the emotions and struggles from the last year and a half or so. I am going to try not to make this too depressing, but my main purpose to to explore this journey through greif that I am on.

I went to a greif class at the church where my MOPS group is held and I think it will really help. Honey, a lady in the class gave me a little card with a promise on it. It is a little card, that you open a little flap (like the lift the flap books for kids) and it has a promise inside. God is so good because my promise was --- "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 Then below the verse it said: "God has experience in overcoming the problems that are coming to me. It makes good sense to ask for His help."

I am so bad at asking for help from anyone, even God. This promise card reminded me that it is ok for me to ask for help, and it doesn't mean I am weak, it means I'm human. Sometimes I forget that.

Well, it is getting late and I better stop for now, but I will post later! This might be fun.